Angels in the sky

Everything about airlines and flying fascinated me when I was a child. Words like Boeing, Jumbo Jet, take-off.. the roar of the engines, the white streaks they leave behind in the blue skies.. everything. going to the airport was a dream come true. to dress-up, to get there early so you get to see at least a couple of landings and take-offs, the big suitcases with those colorful stickers, those celebrities and all was sheer joy. the little articles that they give you on-board: from the head phones to the breath-mint, were all souvenirs worth cherishing more than the trip itself.

but of late, as someone who is required to travel quite a bit for work, I cant tell you how much I have started to dislike flying. I have heard and read a lot about the long lines at the security and check-in counters, but for a seasoned traveler who prefers to travel light this is rarely a problem.

my issues are with the flight attendants and flight attendants only. I refuse to call them the 'host' or 'hostess'. Is being rude a pre-requisite for this job, or do they hire normal people and train them to be rude? Is it their union or the airlines who train them? Cant airlines fly without them?

Let's analyze.

What really is their job? Is it that of a PA announcer? "You have boarded flight no: XXX headed to ABC." Doesn't your ticket tell you that. Also don't they check this when you board anyway.

Maybe they are there to throw the peanut packets at us and refuse the free soda. How about they let us take one (one only) from a shelf at the gate itself as we board.

Or is to close the door and lock us in under their command? Can't the pilots do that? Lock us in and lock themselves in again?

May be they are there for a little in-flight entertainment. No, I am not talking about the movie. I am talking about the the little dance that they do looking straight into the rear end of the plane, during the so called 'safety instructions'. It reminds me of my friend working out on his Wii-fit staring at his wall mounted TV. Why can't they use the little TV monitors for this and the movie?

Ok surely they are there to save our lives then in case of a disaster. You think?? Well, if they wont help a 70 year old man to his seat or a lady with 3 children load her bags (that is the job of the good Samaritans in the aisle seats), in a plane safely parked in the airport; then sure as hell, I don't trust them to come and save my life if my flight were ever to sail on the Hudson.

Finally, I think I may have the answer. Yes. They are there to save you money. 'cos they have the POWER to check your bags in for free from inside the flight. If you were to do it outside at the check in counter, you will be charged.

Yes, that is the only reason they are there. EUREKA!!

image source: http://www.petergreenberg.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/air-india.jpg